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Wednesday, 10 August 2016

Win a Free Paperback Copy of Murder on the Orient (SS)

Last month you had the opportunity to win the first book in the Agatha Christie Book Club series and I'm now offering you the chance to score a paperback copy of book 2: Murder on the Orient (SS)!


Just log in (or sign up) with Goodreads and head to their Giveaways section, or click on this link: GoodreadsComp.

Alternatively, use the following html:
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/196440-murder-on-the-orient-ss-the-agatha-christie-book-club-2

The competition is open until August 26 so get in quick.

If you're not a member of Goodreads or don't wish to sign up, never fear. Just check out my earlier blog and you could win a free e-copy of this or any book of your choice.

Happy (free) reading everyone!

xo Christina

Monday, 8 August 2016

Check out my revamped cover and win a free e-book

As my devoted readers will know, I have a naughty knack of fiddling with my book covers whenever I get a chance. I love design and am often looking at ways to make my covers stronger, slicker and reach a broader audience.

Well, oops, I did it again!

Or, at least, my favourite cover designer Stuart Eadie did. As you can see from the image below, he's redesigned the cover of the first book in my Ghostwriter Mystery series, Killer Twist. This time, however, you won't notice a huge difference. It's just a minor revamp, a tiny polish, a strategic yet subtle appeal to those for whom first impressions count. I do hope you like it.


Over the next month Stu and I will be revamping all six covers in the series, so stay tuned as each new look hits the digital stands.

Until then, I'd love to hear your thoughts! I'm offering a free e-book* to the first 10 respondents, so don't hesitate to leave a comment below or email me directly: christina.larmer@gmail.com

Happy (revamped) reading everyone!
xo Christina

*NB: this competition is open for one full month from first publication of blog, and winners get to choose an e-copy of any of my nine C.A. Larmer novels, which can be found at Amazon. Good luck!

Tuesday, 2 August 2016

The Ikea Theory on Writing (it's just as unfathomable)

I was chatting to a neighbour the other day, groaning about a particularly badly written novel I was in the middle of editing.

"Some people just shouldn't write books," I said. "It's woeful and I'm struggling to make sense of it."

"Oh dear," he replied. "Hopefully she'll just self-publish and be done with it."

I was gobsmacked.

What did he mean? Was he saying that self-publishing is only for woeful writers? Was he saying that self-published books didn't go anywhere so it would get lost in a giant black sludgepile and save us all the agony?

Whatever my neighbour was saying, it didn't bode well for me.

While I have had a book traditionally published, I now self-publish my own novels, and have nine indie books available on all the major channels. I sold over 3,000 copies last month on Amazon alone and have an average four star rating. I DIY, and I do so proudly.

Or at least I did, until we had our little roadside chat.

Despite my humiliation, I didn't call my neighbour on his words because I didn't want to embarrass him. He's actually a decent bloke and I knew that he knew I self-published books, so would be mortified by what he'd just said. I couldn't bear the look in his eyes when he realised his faux pas, the frantic backpedal, the attempt to swallow words and attitudes that were, frankly, indigestible.

Come on, guys, let's remove the scales from our eyes and modern up.

We no longer believe that the produce sold at Woolworths and Coles is better than produce from the farmers' market. That's laughable. We accept that mass produced furniture from Ikea usually fails in comparison to bespoke pieces made by a local carpenter. Yet we still cling on to the idea that if there's a Big Publisher behind a book, it must be somehow better. Surely we're better than that? Surely we're smarter? Surely we've read anything by Tara Moss, Mary Higgins Clark or Lynda La Plante?



Product DetailsProduct DetailsProduct Details

Now before you get up in arms and accuse me of my own bias, allow me to qualify: I know all three traditionally published mystery authors are HUGELY successful and have an enormous fan base, and all power to them. I'm not saying their work is crap, not at all. But I could name at least 50 indie mystery authors I've read who do a FAR SUPERIOR job. These lesser-known authors create prose that is so much richer, characters who are far less cliche, and plots that leave you gripping the edge of your bed each night.

Yet by destiny or design, they have gone the independent route, and while some are doing really well, others are struggling. And they're struggling thanks to the attitudes of people like my neighbour who clearly wouldn't give them a whirl because they haven't got the words Pan Macmillan or Penguin or Harper Collins somewhere in the opening pages.

How short sighted of him, and oh how he's missing out!

The changing tide
The indie book publishing world IS changing, and it's changing fast. Sales are zooming, profits are booming, and many writers now choose to go it alone. Yet the general population has a looooong way to go to catch up. My neighbour was not trying to be insulting, he just has a bias that should be left in the 20th century where it belongs.

Stories are stories are stories. It shouldn't matter about format or publisher. That's an irrelevance.

All I ask today, dear readers, is that you give a book credit based on its content, not the imprint at the front. Take a look at the star rating. Look at the reviews. Read the first few chapters before you diss or dismiss. It's that simple.

Oh and be careful what you say to your neighbours. They might have just published another indie novel and be feeling pretty proud of themselves. Let's give them a pat on the back not a silent slap.

Happy (unbiased) reading everyone.
xo Christina

Wednesday, 13 July 2016

When one door shuts...

Image result for ageismI knew the second our eyes met that I was doomed.

The young woman glanced up from her iPhone 6, caught my eye, frowned slightly (ever so slightly) then kept glancing around, her eyes boring into the younger women gathered in the foyer around me. She had a kind of pleading, desperate look about her.

Trying not to frown in response (lest the crow's-feet scare her further) I wedged my lips into a bright smile, hid my old Samsung mobile phone in my handbag, and strode confidently across the room towards the leather sofa where she was now perched.

"Amber?" I called out as I narrowed in.

The website editor looked up at me and blinked a few times before it hit. "Christina?" she asked, dubiously. I nodded, extending one hand to shake hers. "Oh! Right. Sorry, I didn't see you there, please take a seat."

As she waved me into the chair beside her, I wondered whether I should save us both the time and simply turn around and walk away. Then I internally slapped myself for being so defeatist, sat down and attempted to redazzle her with my extensive resume.

I say 'redazzle' because Amber was already familiar with my work. We had met via email the month before and "awed" by my extensive writing experience (which includes editing national magazines, freelancing for 15 years, and running bureaus in London, NY and LA), she had given me four internet articles to write in just two weeks. I did them promptly, there were no complaints and that's when I let my guard down. I suggested we meet in person. I was coming to town and thought it would be lovely. But as soon as I saw the trendily dressed 20-something glance straight past me in the foyer of her office block I knew I had misstepped.

The woman was polite, she was responsive, she promised me more work. And then, after just ten minutes, she began to fiddle nervously with her iPhone and made her excuses. I thanked her for her time, returned home and proceeded not to hear from her. As I feared I wouldn't. 

Such is the life of an ageing female* journalist. 

Why am I so negative I hear you ask? 


You do the maths: 
Before meeting me in person = 4 freelance articles in 2 weeks
After meeting me in person = 0 freelance articles in 12 weeks (and counting)

"She was startled by my age," I told a friend who rolled her eyes in reply. "No, seriously, she seemed almost shocked to be chatting to a 40-something about writing for her hip new website. She was polite enough but she couldn't get rid of me fast enough and has not replied to a single email since I returned home. Not even a 'thanks anyway'. She's blocked me, dumped me. Thrown me on the scrap heap."

"Oh you're being pathetic," my friend scoffed. "Maybe she's just busy."

"For three months? I think not."

I don't blame Amber, not really. I was a young editor once. I probably dismissed older people, too, without even realising I was doing it. When I was 21, 30 seemed ancient, so to sit across from a 48-year-old must have felt prehistoric.

I wonder how 50-, 60- and 70-somethings do it, and I take off my hat to those who've survived and flourished in an industry that's hard enough no matter what your age. To them I must sound like a classic 'cry baby', and I apologise for that. I know I'm not old, not AT ALL, but in Amber's eyes I was well past my prime. It's all relative, isn't it?

Of course my defeatist attitude would not have helped. I understand that, too. Perhaps I had given up before I even sat down, but a decade of dwindling job offers and gradually quietening phones has done that to me. And I am not alone.

It IS harder to find work as you get older, especially in young industries like the internet and dying industries like journalism. But I don't hold it against Amber and I don't hold it against the industries because the very thing that has been killing off my traditional writing work, has enabled my new career as a fiction writer. And for that I am eternally grateful.

Thanks to the 'world wide web', I can self-publish my own books from home. I can reach out to my own audience (hello there!), promote my own work, and make a really lovely living without leaving my living room.

It has nothing to do with my age or my looks or how funky my phone is. I don't need the Ambers of the world to get ahead in the indie publishing world, and it's a liberating feeling.

So it's swings and roundabouts. When one door shuts... and all that.

I write this blog, not for a pity party but as a reminder to all that while age shouldn't matter, it probably does. But it must never hold us back. My short-lived career at the hip website may be over, but there's a silver lining: I now have more time to focus on my fiction, and you can guess who's getting slaughtered in my next crime novel (cue sinister laughter now).

The upshot of aging


Readers at Amazon and Apple and Nook don't seem to care what I look like or what I'm wearing or what mobile phone is in my daggy handbag. They just want great stories, and here's the kicker—the older I get, the better my stories become. That's the great thing about getting older: your writing matures right along with you.

So thanks for all your support over the years, dear readers, and happy reading everyone, no matter how old you are.

xo Christina
*NB: I don't know whether this is a phenomenon exclusive to women, I sincerely doubt it, but I'd love to hear from men on that score. In fact, I'd love to hear from ALL of you - men and women, old and young. Just drop a comment below and let me know if you've ever experienced ageism at work or in life.

Tuesday, 21 June 2016

4th of July Giveaway (I'm in great company!)

NEWSFLASH: This competition is now over. 
A giant CONGRATULATIONS to Jeanine who has not only scored herself 21 Amazon giftcards (at $10 each no less), she has also scored 21 FREE mystery e-books from 21 of the brightest writers across the globe. Jeanine's kindle must be jam-packed and groaning with pleasure! 
Well played, J.
xo CA


I love my American friends, and I love my American author friends even more! Not only have they been so incredibly inclusive— sharing writerly advice, issues, inspiration and feedback— they're a lot of fun and, gasp, incredibly successful.

Some of my mystery author Facebook friends are consistently on Amazon's Top 10 best-seller lists. They clearly have a mammoth fan base and they write and sell squillions of books.

But that's not what I love about them.

What I love is the fact that they always take the time—usually while in the middle of writing another best-seller— to answer my crazy author queries, like:

"Help! I'm desperate for book reviews, how do you get so many?!" 
and 
"I need to kill someone with very little blood splatter, any tips?"

They're a constant, comforting shoulder to cry on but know just when to tell me to suck it up, sit back at my keyboard and keep on going (love that about the Amercians!) And they have the most surprising sense of humour, often sharing posts that leave me giggling like a schoolgirl (usually involving coffee, chocolate and cuddly creatures).

That's why, when they asked me to be involved in their latest giveway - a mega 4th of July 'Rafflecopter' - I couldn't say "yes!" fast enough.


I'm in illustrious company. Joining me in this uber generous comp are Big Guns like Kathi Daley, Dianne Harman, Julie Moffett, Tonya Kappes, Ritter Ames and Duncan Whitehead to name just a few (pls check out the full glittering list below).

For those who want to be in the running, 
here's what it involves:

* 21 authors
* 21 ebooks
* $210 in Amazon Gift Cards
* And one Grand Prize Winner!

The contest runs until midnight on July 4 and the winner will be announced the following day. Gift cards are in US dollars from Amazon.com

For more information, head to the website, pop in your entry and keep those fingers crossed.

Until July 4... Happy reading (and book winning) everyone!

xo Christina

4TH OF JULY GIVEAWAY - PARTICIPATING AUTHORS
* Kathi Daley
* Dianne Harman
* Anna Celeste Burke
* Leslie Langtry
* Ritter Ames
* Duncan Whitehead
* Julie Mulhern
* Julie Seedorf
* Tonya Kappes
* Maggie West
* Jane Firebaugh
* C.A.Larmer
* Cassidy Salem
* Zanna Mackenzie
* Leigh Selfman
* Linda Crowder
* Julie Moffett
* Christa Nardi
* Maureen Howard
* Diane Rapp
* Pam Kelley

xo

4th of July Giveaway (I'm in great company!)

NEWSFLASH: This compeition is now over. 
A giant CONGRATULATIONS to Jeanine who has not only scored herself 21 Amazon giftcards (at $10 each no less), she has also scored 21 FREE mystery e-books from 21 of the brightest writers across the globe. Jeanine's kindle must be jam-packed and groaning with pleasure! 
Well played, J.
xo CA


I love my American friends, and I love my American author friends even more! Not only have they been so incredibly inclusive— sharing writerly advice, issues, inspiration and feedback— they're a lot of fun and, gasp, incredibly successful.

Some of my mystery author Facebook friends are consistently on Amazon's Top 10 best-seller lists. They clearly have a mammoth fan base and they write and sell squillions of books.

But that's not what I love about them.

What I love is the fact that they always take the time—usually while in the middle of writing another best-seller— to answer my crazy author queries, like:

"Help! I'm desperate for book reviews, how do you get so many?!" 
and 
"I need to kill someone with very little blood splatter, any tips?"

They're a constant, comforting shoulder to cry on but know just when to tell me to suck it up, sit back at my keyboard and keep on going (love that about the Amercians!) And they have the most surprising sense of humour, often sharing posts that leave me giggling like a schoolgirl (usually involving coffee, chocolate and cuddly creatures).

That's why, when they asked me to be involved in their latest giveway - a mega 4th of July 'Rafflecopter' - I couldn't say "yes!" fast enough.


I'm in illustrious company. Joining me in this uber generous comp are Big Guns like Kathi Daley, Dianne Harman, Julie Moffett, Tonya Kappes, Ritter Ames and Duncan Whitehead to name just a few (pls check out the full glittering list below).

For those who want to be in the running, 
here's what it involves:

* 21 authors
* 21 ebooks
* $210 in Amazon Gift Cards
* And one Grand Prize Winner!

The contest runs until midnight on July 4 and the winner will be announced the following day. Gift cards are in US dollars from Amazon.com

For more information, head to the website, pop in your entry and keep those fingers crossed.

Until July 4... Happy reading (and book winning) everyone!

xo Christina

4TH OF JULY GIVEAWAY - PARTICIPATING AUTHORS
* Kathi Daley
* Dianne Harman
* Anna Celeste Burke
* Leslie Langtry
* Ritter Ames
* Duncan Whitehead
* Julie Mulhern
* Julie Seedorf
* Tonya Kappes
* Maggie West
* Jane Firebaugh
* C.A.Larmer
* Cassidy Salem
* Zanna Mackenzie
* Leigh Selfman
* Linda Crowder
* Julie Moffett
* Christa Nardi
* Maureen Howard
* Diane Rapp
* Pam Kelley

xo

Wednesday, 8 June 2016

Thinking of writing a book? Proceed with caution...

Thinking of writing a book? Great. Now take a deep breath, get over yourself, and back away from that pen!

Sound harsh?

I moonlight (by day) as a book editor and if there's one thing I've learned it's that, while everyone might have a book in them—all humans have stories to share, and share they should—not everyone should actually be writing one.

I don't say that out of malice or meanspiritedness. I say that as an editor who has spent countless hours wading through endless pages of absolute dross, trying to knock them into some kind of shape.

Product DetailsAnd it pisses me off.


Sorry, but, hey, let's all get a grip. We need to know our limitations, surely? We can pretend to live in a world where everything is possible, but actually it's not. Not really.

I can't run more than a few metres without giggling and spluttering, so I'm not entering any racing meets anytime soon. Nor should I. I can't waitress to save myself. I tried it, several times. My tips were brilliant—only because I was so appalling, the poor punters felt sorry for me—but I was bloody hopeless. As I snapped corks inside wine bottles and splashed sauces all over patrons, I quickly learned, this was not the job for me. Which was a pity because I was backpacking through Europe and really needed the cash. But I stopped and applied for jobs on the local rags instead, where I flourished.

Similarly, I'm pretty sure I'd make a dreadful nurse, accountant, engineer and architect. I can't play a tune to save my life so music's out, and don't get me started on my building, gardening and PR skills.

Some things are out of my scope. Some things are beyond me. And while I can always have a crack, I'd be better off hiring someone to do all of the above for me, and focusing on what I do fairly competently - writing, editing, self-publishing and journalism. I'm not saying I'm brilliant at all of those things, but I can pull them off. Some people can't even come close.

Yet still they try


So many people think that writing is one of those things that everyone can do. It's no longer deemed a professional skill, which it once was. It's now open slather. A cinch!

Got a great story in you? Just jot it down and make a motza. Start a blog. Write your memoir and bore family senseless with extraordinarily poor writing, sentence structure, punctuation and descriptions.

This flippant attitude to writing is, frankly, patronising to those of us who do it for a living. And it's annoying as all hell.

My experience editing other people's books shows, in no uncertain terms, that you can put lipstick on a pig but that doesn't change the fact that it's still a pig. Oink, oink!

Sorry, that's the truth.

And yes, sure, good on you for having a go! Really, it does take time, effort (blood and tears), or it should if you're doing it properly. But if you're failing at it, if it's just not working, if there's more red ink on the page than black, it's okay to admit that you JUST CAN'T DO IT. So wave the white flag, hand the manuscript over to a professional, and get on with what YOU do best. Your day job, I'd suggest.

Stephen King said it beautifully in the bible on this subject: On Writing: A Memoir

"No matter how much I want to encourage the man or woman trying for the first time to write seriously, I can't lie and say there are no bad writers. Sorry, but there are lots of bad writers. Some are on staff at your local newspaper… Some have scribbled their way to homes in the Caribbean, leaving a trail of pulsing adverbs, wooden characters, and vile passive-voice constructions behind them…
It is impossible to make a competent writer out of a bad writer… it is possible, with lots of hard work, dedication, and timely help, to make a good writer out of a merely competent one."

This is important so listen up: I'm not talking about a good writer or a merely competent writer here. I am talking about the bad writer, of which there are many currently attempting to write books.

Just say no


If you are a bad writer—and, deep down, you probably know if you are—then pop your pen aside, hand your story to someone else to write, and get on with something else. King suggests washing the car (ouch!)

Harsh? Yes. True? Yes! And the truth can really hurt.

What do you think?


Jot me a comment and join the debate. I'm always keen to hear from you, and I promise I won't criticise your writing, at least not in the comment section  :-)

Happy reading (and writing if it's in you), everyone!

xo Christina